Menu Madness

OK, so on the slow boat up the mekong from Luang Prabang heading back to Thailand G and I met a really nice guy from Portland, Oregon who has been bouncing around asia on and off for decades. He seemed to be a bit of a compulsive diarist, and one of the things which had been taking notes on was the bizarre language which can be found on restaurant menus in Laos and Cambodia. So here, as a kind of companion to the previous "mangled english" post which can be found in the archives is the cream of the crop- (just from his latest trip, mind you- he says that these dont compare to the first list he made back in the 70's)--
MIXED PRESERVED
DEEP FRIED ASSORTED MEAL
WATERFALL SOUP WITH PIGS BLOOD
FRIED RIDE
PORK AND TOFFY SOUP
POTATO SHIPS
MEAT FRIED
CANDY
CUCUMBLERS
FRIED CANDY
SCHWEPPERS TONIC WATER
RICE WITH BEGTABLE
BEEF LARP W/ INTESTINE CONTENT
SPICY MEKONG
SPALITE SODA
SPAN FRIED RICE
CHIPS BUTTY
FRIEND CHIPS
PATH THAI
FRIEND PEANUTS
BURN FISH IN BANNANA LEAF
DUCK PORK
FRANCE FRIED
FLAMBE FRIED WATER MIMOSA
SPICY COCKLESS SALAD
GRALIC BREAD
SLICED SERPENT HEAD FISH IN SPICY TAMARINATED SOUP

That night we had dinner with him on the Laos side of the border and, our minds being attuned to these things, realised that teh very riverside restaurant at which we dined offered:
SHREDDED JELLY SOUP, BASILIC CHICKEN, FRIED MACALONI (available with meat, so then i guess it wouldn't feel so aloni), and Fired Chicken (we wondered what it had done to desereve that and if they gave him a severence package).
He said that he wanted to throw a dinner party and try to serve that menu. Good luck to him.
Now we're back in Thailand, where people's english skills have improved relative to the increasing amount of money which can be made from said skills, but we'll keep our eyes out for for more of these unique dishes.