Duders, High Waists, The Russian Salad and the Headshake

We're still in Rishikesh, just chilling and waiting for the Vermont girls to arrive, probably tomorrow. Rishikesh, especially Laxman Jula, where we are staying is actually quite a nice place to stay- there's a waterfall 4 kilometers (we've been out here so long that we think and talk in kilometers) up the road and there are sandy "beaches" on the banks of the Ganges where you can pretend that you're at the ocean, which is fun as long as some Indian dudes in speedos don't come around with their bulges all in your face. There's something I really must say about India... it's incredibly gay.
Yes, Thailand has ladyboys and all that and straight men in Viet Nam hold hands and cuddle on the street (the best is when you see two cops sitting close and fondling each other playfully), but in India there is something less amusing and entertaining going on. It seems like the attitude is that women should be in the home, hidden away or covered in public, while guys hang out in the street all day and night. Sure, they amuse themselves by staring at every attractive woman that passes by, but the rest of their time is spent grabassing and frolicking gayly. Usually there is one younger, skinnier guy who everybody picks on and is kind of like the "bitch" in prison. You see lots of guys riding their bicycles with a dreamy-eyed young man riding, not on the handlebars, but nestled between their arms sitting between the seat and handlebars. Of course there is no "homosexuality" in India- this is all just normal behavior. It would be absolutely scandalous for a boy and girl to play like this, or even to hang out together at all, so the guys just do it together. Most of these guys then grow up and continue to hang out, play table-billiards or some other game and talk shit while their wife is at home watching the kids or whatever. Hanging out with these guys can be like spending time in a Boys-Only clubhouse or in a basement rec. room with a bunch of socially retarded overgrown teenagers. Ah well.
We've definitely been digging the Nepalese/Tibetan influence here. We've been (after many terrible experimental meals) eating almost solely at a place called the Moonlight Cafe that is Nepalese run and has the best food and service in town. And the waiters there bust sags and wear graphic t-shirts, which is a sight for sore eyes in the land where EVERYONE wears plaid button-up shirts tucked into painfully high-waisted tight slacks. The food at Moonlight is especially rad because we're getting kind of sick of Indian food. Yes, the spice and everything is delicious, but if you try to live off it you realize that they use the same spices in most dishes and everything is made of starch and butter or oil. The only protein is in Dahl and Paneer cheese so after a while you start to feel like a West Philadelphia vegan living off french fries and Peanut Chews (We've met a bunch of older Indian men who have developed Diabetes, you can't help but make a link to a life of eating Roti and drinking supersweet chai). So you turn to the "continental" section on the menu, which is a risky proposition. We ordered something in Pushkar called a "russian salad" and got a plate of tomato, slightly hard kidney beans, pineapple, onion, cucumber, stewed carrots, potatoes, some kind of orange melon, peanuts, grated coconut, all served in a garlic mayonnaise sauce. It was maybe the wrongest thing ever put on a plate.
Right now we're in the process of trying to rebook our tickets to Paris and get our E.U. visas (if anyone knows what's the deal with those- like how much they cost etc. please contact us or leave a comment), which is turning into headache. We may have to drive 45 minutes tomorrow to the nearest air India office, as the travel agents in Rishikesh are either crooks or totally clueless. Doing business here involves a lot of this little headshake thing people do which means... well it means nothing actually- it's meant to mean "no" but actually means "possibly" or "possibly for a price" or "I don't know", so you're basically never given a straight answer. It starts to make you feel retarded, like you are losing I.Q. points. Ok, despite all this we are liking it here and enjoying ourselves, taking lots of yoga and chilling. Anybody with any suggestions or ideas about Europe please send them along! Word.